A recent photo of Ned No-One:





A recent photo of John No-One:

NEWS FLASH:
No-Ones copyright infringement located......read more below:


Following its huge success in May, this hard hitting and hilarious show continues its tour this September. The No-Ones is about six ordinary women who enter a talent contest in search of fame and fortune however they discover that the path to success isn’t always easy. As well as tackling some real life issues this play also has a musical element to it showcasing some well-known sixties and seventies songs ("Ponsonby" and "Pull over Blue Cortina") which we hope will have you singing in your seats!

Please be aware that this show is unsuitable for young children.

Tour Dates:

Saturday 8th September - acta Centre

Tuesday 11th September - Colston Hall (bar area)

Wednesday 12th September- Colston Hall (bar area)

Friday 14th September - City of Bristol College, Lawrence Weston

Friday 21st September- Bridgwater Arts Centre

All shows are at 8.00pm unless otherwise stated and are priced at £3 full price and £2 concessions. For Colston Hall bookings please call the venue direct on 0117 922 3682.

I smell some common threads and similarities to some of the original No-Ones gigs here:
- hard hitting
- fame and fortune
- singing in your seats
- bar area
- value for money
- September 11 (spooky coincidence with Ned No-Ones birthday)

If I was in the UK in September I would definitely make sure I saw this show twice.

Introducing Ned No-One's specially brewed beer. A rival to the mighty Steiny, full of 11 secret ingredients not even the Colonel would have dreamed of.

Let your palate do the tasting, your kidney's do the filtering and your hang- over testimony to yet another big night out on the beers, wishing you had some No-Ones tunes on the stereo to listen to.

Brewed in Ponsonby, this premium lager is famous in South Auckland and the world over.

As Jason No-One said "A bloody little ripper, was pissed for several days after sampling Ned's secret recipe grog - highly recommended with seafood"

Ned No-One joined Noddy on Friday 1 December 2006 on 2HHH 100.1FM (Sydney) to present a NZ flavoured radio show - 7 to 10pm. Listeners of the Common Thread were treated to a plethora of great NZ songs from the late 70's to early 90's. What a shame nothing playable existed from the No-Ones, as the Westleigh party in progress at the time would have gone off if "Ponsonby" hit the airwaves that evening.

Listen to Noddy and Ned here

The No-Ones infamous "1980 South Auckland Tour" bus, now parked in Otara and unfortunately, looking a little run down after all these years.

Eureka, it has been found......deep from the vaults of the NZ Musical Society - an extremely rare one off 78rpm vinyl pressing of that forgettable youth anthem "Pull over Blue Cortina" - an unlistenable live recording from the infamous, police interrupted, 1980 No-Ones gig at Hunters Corner Community/Church Hall.

A little know fact about this song - it was inspired by the actual noise that came from a bull-horn on a police car as law abiding band-members (Ned No-One, Jason No-One & Tony No-One) were out for a drive, minding their own business, obeying the road rules and travelling a little quickly through Otahuhu late one Friday night in the mightly Blue Cortina...
The guitar line to the song was inspired by those 1940's superstars - "The Ink Spots".

A good thing about playing at the Hunters Corner venue was the proximity to that well known and world famous burger bar "The Greasy Greeks". Their double meat burger was a real treat in the early hours of the morning after the consumption of a few bottles of Steinlager. When Jason No-One relocated to London UK, he had them mail over a few double meats to him, such was their allure.

When the No-Ones played the volume was always all the way up on each amp. Here is one of the actual VU meters from Tony No-Ones amp - interestingly, this reading was taken during a break, between songs.

...and talking of No-Ones paraphernalia for sale on eBay.... a very rare one of a kind used pick - courtesy of Jason No-One.

Buy now = US$10,000

Between concerts the band's avid supporter and chief financier, Cheapo Posters were kind enoug to tape posters to power poles all over the place. Here are a couple of fine examples.

The large crowd waited patiently for the No-Ones to commence their encore......

Manukau City 1980

1st November 1980...
Somewhere in Manurewa - a great gig with The Smith Brothers & Blam Blam Blam.
The crowd were of course hanging out to see the mighty No-Ones and as the picture demonstrates it was busy in the mosh-pit that night. The straw hat was the lucky door prize.

(L - R: Tony No-One, Ned No-One, Jason No-One, John "get rid of the stupid glasses" No-One)

Believe it or not....

Q: What was the band's name before they were the No-Ones?

A: The Bastards

Rare poster from the infamous Homai Hall gig - February 28. One of the biggest crowds assembled in one location to listen to the gem's outputted by this musical wonder of a band. A spot of trouble in the carpark (again) leading to a friendly visit by a couple of local constables at about 11pm. Lot's of $ made, lots of Steinlager purchased after the gig (as usual). The support band - The Microdot's were very forgettable - so much so I have forgotton who they actually were.

Introducing the No-Ones range of clothing - at a stockist near you..

(T-shirts courtesy of Jono - President of the No-Ones Fan Club - Australian Chapter)

Rare Photos of a No-Ones gig at St Georges Bay Rd in Parnell.

An anxious wait....

Once the band launched into their first set the large crowd went crazy and began dancing on the roof.

This geezer with the guzoo (also known as the "sixth unofficial No-One") was an avid fan who, when allowed out of Carrington, was at every gig.

Photo's courtesy of another avid fan.

The 1965 Blue Cortina...parked at the beach early 80's just before it was stolen from a David Bowie concert at Western Springs. The theives took off with all known recordings of this great band - I thought they would have been safe stored in the trusty boot. Anyway, the Blue Cortina was subsequently found abondoned a few days later and ended it's life at the wreckers shortly thereafter. Despite a widespread search the stolen music archives were never recovered.

Can't really remember this gig however the poster survives some 26 years later. I recall we made enough money to buy a few dozen bottles of Steinlager for after the show (as was the case with most of our concerts).

Promo band photo to promote a classic gig in 1980 - the band played after a disco in the church hall. Not a good mix really, ended with a blue in St Annes Church carpark between some disco bunnies and some punks. The band made enough money to buy some PA speakers (plus a case or two of Steinlager). First time the unrecorded hit single "Ponsonby" was played in-tune live.